In July, after more than six years in “TODO”/“DOING”, I could finally mark my longest-running task as “DONE”. As the title spoils, it was about my goal of getting a doctorate. Around that time, I had found the following figure and attached it to the task as motivation. It shows, in German, two funnels of 100 children that start elementary school until they either earn a degree or drop off. For children of academics, the ratio is ten doctorate degrees for every 100 elementary school children. For children from working-class families (“Arbeiterkinder” as the Germans call it), the numbers drop rapidly. Of 100 children, only 21 start to study at all, 15 earn their bachelor’s, eight their master’s, and only one earns a doctorate.
I saved this figure because it reminds me of how I felt when I left school. I felt intimidated by university, so I chose to start an apprenticeship, even though I really wanted to be a student. When I admitted to myself that I would be unhappy with never trying, I still thought I was too dumb for “real” computer science, so I chose a bachelor’s in information systems (“Wirtschaftsinformatik”). And after that, I told myself that you don’t need a master’s in computer science anyway, so I should be working.
Only in 2020, I allowed myself to reevaluate what I thought, admit that I really wanted to try, and sign up for a master’s. By that time, I couldn’t study “real” computer science anymore. Instead, I chose “practical computer science” (close enough).
I am from a working-class family, but my parents could not have been more supportive of me. Still, looking back, there was a lot of insecurity and missing experience that prevented me from trying to study. So I am writing this down as an example if you can recognize yourself in the paragraphs above: It can be done, and if you have any questions about academia and have no one in your family to talk to, feel free to reach out!
In July, after more than six years, I was allowed to travel to Erlangen and pick up a fake degree (in Germany the real ones get unceremoniously sent by post - efficiency) and shake the hand of the university president. It is a useless event for people that want to feel important, and I could not have had a better time.
I will leave you with pictures of me, decked out in newly acquired PhD gear, and my wife on the “blue carpet”. I love this picture because without her I would have crashed and burned during the research, so it feels right to stand there together.
